20031231

Happy New Year 2004!

Warning! This post is very scattered.

Ach, I would say that time passes too quickly, but I will also disagree, because it merely means that I don't remember all the things I've done, watched, and played, this year. Or at the very least, I don't consider them very important. I should, even the littlest have helped molded my character, given me a challenge to make things better.

When playing Kingdom Hearts, I saw how much I enjoy controlling a rather hyperactive 14-year-old boy as he fights the Heartless and open new things.

When playing Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, I enjoy playing Gandalf. He's quite fast for someone 2,000 years old. It's his wizarding power that I enjoy most.

Ledger-Enquirer | 12/26/2003 | OK to stay home

It is New Year's Eve and I stay at home. Naturally, my parents are there because I have no guts to live away from them. That may change in the future as I am trying to see that the benefits of homesickness is greater than the frustration of power struggle. I should be away from home so that we can redefine our relationships.

I went to San Francisco today, through BART to have lunch with my parents. After that, I walked to Sansome and Pine, where you see paper calendars tossed around the intersection.

Then, I visited the bookstore, where I was happy to pace nervously in front of the You-Know-What section of the magazine aisle. Someday, someday . . . Meanwhile, all my years are dripping away with every second. Tick-tock, tick-tock, goes the clock. But two hours away, and I am idling and becoming old.

I have a dichotomous nature toward aging. I see aging as a beneficial result of wisdom gained, of accepting the complexity of life, and being capable of juggling many contradictory truths that many young and immature youth regard as hypocrisy. I can agree with that statement, and I do regard youth very lovingly as the balance against the pompousness. However, this only encourages division, and I will not divide.

However, my main problem with aging is that you grow ugly. I don't care about wrinkles, I think they can look good when you take care of your skin. but some people can degenerate into such hideous face, mind, and body that I cannot but vomit in terror of looking at myself in the mirror and finding an ugly, badly-wrinkled, bald, old, geezer. I don't want to be skinny and shaking and dependent on a cane. I don't want to be fat and grumpy. I want to be like, like Jack Nicholson. That's how good-looking I hope I can still be, minus his annoying sneer.

As this is the last post of the old year. It will end with a whimper. My thumbs are still sore from playing on the Playstation 2, it was button-mashing fun, though! Maybe it sucked my time away from other activities, but I don't care. I have so little time left before school starts again, and it's back to studying every single day without playing anything.

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20031229

Playing the games Lord of the Rings: Return of the King by EA and Kingdom Hearts--by Squaresoft and Disney has so consumed my time that today has passed. Hours lost to simple pleasure of winning battles and finding things that do not exist in real life.

I planned to do three things today: go to the library to drop of the book, go to Walgreen to purchase something--I can't remember what, converse with the VP-100 personnel about installing the videophone in my house.

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