20031114
QueerFilter GLBT Blogs & Journals
I am sometimes disappointed that when I think of an idea that I could elaborate on in this blog, I forget about it by the end of the day, so I post nothing. There are those writers who cannot simply not write, who must find a computer to post an idea, any idea that occurs. I sadly am not of those.
Ah, I remember now. What I wanted to post was that I had a dream two nights ago and last night.
Two nights ago, I can barely remember, but it should occur to me as I write about my dream last night.
Last night, I dreamt that my English professor had revealed to me a secret to great writing, to acing an essay. All I needed to do was to incorporate my life experience that makes an essay exciting.
Ri-di-cu-lous! Now that I think about it. If I was explicating a short story, I definitely cannot use any first-person or second-person reference in my essay because that would make the essay too informal and too conversational.
Well, I don't remember the dream from two nights ago. It was something about . . . sigh. I should write everything down before I proceed to explain one or the other so that it doesn't slip my mind.
Anyway, one post I'm writing is about a boy I had a crush on. I'm not sure I have a crush on him now, but I just told him about my sexuality, "come out to him" in an IM message. First time and second time, he never said anything about it. So I got mad at him, and he couldn't understand. I told him that I'm gay and then he said that he doesn't care, he still love me (as a friend).
Well, that doesn't make it easier anyhow. But I hope to see him again soon, especially now I can be more open to him. I kept worrying that I was driving him away or that I just have an irrational fear that I would drive him away. Now I know, with a bit of certainty I won't do that. It's just that he won't ask me about my relationships. I'm not sure how comfortable he is. He's in love with a girl and he claims he will marry her. And at such a young age! I believe it not, but let him do what he will. If she loves him, so much the better. I doubt he is very adaptable to changing circumstances, but I as always will be there for him till the parting of the way.
I have five papers to write up for next week. First is English rough draft (4-5 pages due Tuesday). Second is Biology Lab Final Paper on the Osmoregulation of Earthworms (5-10 pages due Monday). Third is Communication Studies Group Project Journal on Mexican-Immigration and Californian response (1-2 pages due Wednesday). Fourth is on the American Sign Language Open House (1-2 pages due Tuesday). Fifth is the Spanish Composición Tres (200 words due Wednesday).
Boy, I have a lot of work to do this weekend.
You know about the American Sign Language thing, right? I've pretty much banged on your head about my being deaf and my learning American Sign Langauge.
The problem is, most of those people learning ASL are women. It's pretty stupid. And most of them are taking the classes just to minor in a language, without any desire for becoming interpreters, joining the Deaf community, and/or practicing ASL further after graduation. ASL is just simply forgotten. I've met many a woman, and no man yet, who told me that she had learned ASL a long time ago and has forgotten most of them.
¡Qué miserable!
There should be more men, I don't know why. And you know what else, those women learning ASL, many of them also major in Liberal Studies, meaning that they plan to be a teacher, I guess.
I guess there are quite a few plausible reasons for not wanting to learn ASL, male particularly:
1. ASL is the moving of the hands, sometimes in extraordinarily effeminate ways. As always, most men, straight and closeted gay, tend to avoid effeminate movements. Those who are not closeted, love music, and can't bear to be a part of a culture where music cannot be heard.
2. ASL is too easy because of the spatial movement required. After all, boys have strength in area of spatial reasoning, and since ASL is very spatial and pictorial, ASL is too easy and thus, too below them in class.
3. ASL is for girls only. See #1. Girls tend to use ASL as a way of covert communication, and I guess, boys like to see them sign, but they know they are superior to girls. By knowing, I mean that I see so often that when a boyfriend takes a girlfriend's hat and play with it with his friend, the girlfriend can only pout and say, "you're being mean."
And numerous reasons I'm sure I don't know. Actually, these reasons I've presented I didn't get as an answer from any male in particular. It's my own biased, generalized, stereotypical reasoning.
I suppose I should go out and stop someone on the street and ask him, "Why don't you learn American Sign Language?"
No, I don't do that. And I won't.
I am sometimes disappointed that when I think of an idea that I could elaborate on in this blog, I forget about it by the end of the day, so I post nothing. There are those writers who cannot simply not write, who must find a computer to post an idea, any idea that occurs. I sadly am not of those.
Ah, I remember now. What I wanted to post was that I had a dream two nights ago and last night.
Two nights ago, I can barely remember, but it should occur to me as I write about my dream last night.
Last night, I dreamt that my English professor had revealed to me a secret to great writing, to acing an essay. All I needed to do was to incorporate my life experience that makes an essay exciting.
Ri-di-cu-lous! Now that I think about it. If I was explicating a short story, I definitely cannot use any first-person or second-person reference in my essay because that would make the essay too informal and too conversational.
Well, I don't remember the dream from two nights ago. It was something about . . . sigh. I should write everything down before I proceed to explain one or the other so that it doesn't slip my mind.
Anyway, one post I'm writing is about a boy I had a crush on. I'm not sure I have a crush on him now, but I just told him about my sexuality, "come out to him" in an IM message. First time and second time, he never said anything about it. So I got mad at him, and he couldn't understand. I told him that I'm gay and then he said that he doesn't care, he still love me (as a friend).
Well, that doesn't make it easier anyhow. But I hope to see him again soon, especially now I can be more open to him. I kept worrying that I was driving him away or that I just have an irrational fear that I would drive him away. Now I know, with a bit of certainty I won't do that. It's just that he won't ask me about my relationships. I'm not sure how comfortable he is. He's in love with a girl and he claims he will marry her. And at such a young age! I believe it not, but let him do what he will. If she loves him, so much the better. I doubt he is very adaptable to changing circumstances, but I as always will be there for him till the parting of the way.
I have five papers to write up for next week. First is English rough draft (4-5 pages due Tuesday). Second is Biology Lab Final Paper on the Osmoregulation of Earthworms (5-10 pages due Monday). Third is Communication Studies Group Project Journal on Mexican-Immigration and Californian response (1-2 pages due Wednesday). Fourth is on the American Sign Language Open House (1-2 pages due Tuesday). Fifth is the Spanish Composición Tres (200 words due Wednesday).
Boy, I have a lot of work to do this weekend.
You know about the American Sign Language thing, right? I've pretty much banged on your head about my being deaf and my learning American Sign Langauge.
The problem is, most of those people learning ASL are women. It's pretty stupid. And most of them are taking the classes just to minor in a language, without any desire for becoming interpreters, joining the Deaf community, and/or practicing ASL further after graduation. ASL is just simply forgotten. I've met many a woman, and no man yet, who told me that she had learned ASL a long time ago and has forgotten most of them.
¡Qué miserable!
There should be more men, I don't know why. And you know what else, those women learning ASL, many of them also major in Liberal Studies, meaning that they plan to be a teacher, I guess.
I guess there are quite a few plausible reasons for not wanting to learn ASL, male particularly:
1. ASL is the moving of the hands, sometimes in extraordinarily effeminate ways. As always, most men, straight and closeted gay, tend to avoid effeminate movements. Those who are not closeted, love music, and can't bear to be a part of a culture where music cannot be heard.
2. ASL is too easy because of the spatial movement required. After all, boys have strength in area of spatial reasoning, and since ASL is very spatial and pictorial, ASL is too easy and thus, too below them in class.
3. ASL is for girls only. See #1. Girls tend to use ASL as a way of covert communication, and I guess, boys like to see them sign, but they know they are superior to girls. By knowing, I mean that I see so often that when a boyfriend takes a girlfriend's hat and play with it with his friend, the girlfriend can only pout and say, "you're being mean."
And numerous reasons I'm sure I don't know. Actually, these reasons I've presented I didn't get as an answer from any male in particular. It's my own biased, generalized, stereotypical reasoning.
I suppose I should go out and stop someone on the street and ask him, "Why don't you learn American Sign Language?"
No, I don't do that. And I won't.
20031113
What's In a Name? -- The Guide to Harry Potter Name Etymology
I'm sorry, I should be posting more, but I'm just not a blogger.
I'm sorry, I should be posting more, but I'm just not a blogger.
mewing.net
I would have thought that the sensitivity of people, males particularly, could be increased by suffering persecution. That is a blatant lie! Blatant, blatant, blatant!
The problem is that each and every human being, male particularly, has that within itself to discriminate, to generalize, and to stereotype. This cannot be avoided or subdued even with the great society bearing down on them. This generalizing is a natural attempt to disseminate the massive amount of information received through the five or more senses that exist. You must generalize trees as trees, not as being coniferous, or pine, or fir, or whatever the hell a tree with Canadian shaped leaf is called.
The problem is that the deaf people are generalized into being a group known as disabled people. And it is a group not one "normal" people will touch, unless he or she was touched by it. E'en so, there's a rub. Some people have different reactions to disability. There are those that want to become a part of the disabled world. There are those that would rather avoid any discussion of disability. There are those with that tendency to think of being deaf as the most terrible means of existence, the most demeaning, the most for which you must feel sympathy. There are those that think deafness is simple a part of one's life, and should not be used as a tool to round up a group of people against whom to discriminate, of which to experience a severe decrease of penile volume.
I don't know what hearing people think of deafness. I've never asked, and so I'm not qualified to generalize. There are students in my class who are learning American Sign Language, so obviously they love moving their hands.
Sometimes I wonder when a man is experiencing an erection whether or not he goes limp at the thought of disability, whether in a man or a woman, whether crippled, retarded, or deaf. I suppose everyone is different, and the Internet is not exactly the best way to meet people with lower expectations.
Although I have thought about seeking a relationship online, I now laugh at the thought because I always in that moment of romanticism forget the singular fact that the people on the other side of the computer believe that I am "normal" as they are.
Once I tell them, the first thought is probably extreme disappointment. It's like someone telling you she/he is 27 when you expect her/him to be within your set age range.
Then they stop talking, without explanation. I suppose I should leave the matter alone, but I only wish that I could--no, I guess it would not be worth my time. Let these pimps think what they will, my duty's mine, my life's mine, to do with what I will as well.
I would have thought that the sensitivity of people, males particularly, could be increased by suffering persecution. That is a blatant lie! Blatant, blatant, blatant!
The problem is that each and every human being, male particularly, has that within itself to discriminate, to generalize, and to stereotype. This cannot be avoided or subdued even with the great society bearing down on them. This generalizing is a natural attempt to disseminate the massive amount of information received through the five or more senses that exist. You must generalize trees as trees, not as being coniferous, or pine, or fir, or whatever the hell a tree with Canadian shaped leaf is called.
The problem is that the deaf people are generalized into being a group known as disabled people. And it is a group not one "normal" people will touch, unless he or she was touched by it. E'en so, there's a rub. Some people have different reactions to disability. There are those that want to become a part of the disabled world. There are those that would rather avoid any discussion of disability. There are those with that tendency to think of being deaf as the most terrible means of existence, the most demeaning, the most for which you must feel sympathy. There are those that think deafness is simple a part of one's life, and should not be used as a tool to round up a group of people against whom to discriminate, of which to experience a severe decrease of penile volume.
I don't know what hearing people think of deafness. I've never asked, and so I'm not qualified to generalize. There are students in my class who are learning American Sign Language, so obviously they love moving their hands.
Sometimes I wonder when a man is experiencing an erection whether or not he goes limp at the thought of disability, whether in a man or a woman, whether crippled, retarded, or deaf. I suppose everyone is different, and the Internet is not exactly the best way to meet people with lower expectations.
Although I have thought about seeking a relationship online, I now laugh at the thought because I always in that moment of romanticism forget the singular fact that the people on the other side of the computer believe that I am "normal" as they are.
Once I tell them, the first thought is probably extreme disappointment. It's like someone telling you she/he is 27 when you expect her/him to be within your set age range.
Then they stop talking, without explanation. I suppose I should leave the matter alone, but I only wish that I could--no, I guess it would not be worth my time. Let these pimps think what they will, my duty's mine, my life's mine, to do with what I will as well.
