E tenebras, lux dormiens

My computer's been crazy crashing all week. Sorry for the lack of update. I think it's the weather in the Bay Area. Too hot makes my computer loopy.

Anyway, nothing's been happening in my life that is worthy of notes. I want to keep this blog short in case the computer crashes again.

Anarchy, the existence of no government, which is the definition I am using as the axiom to my reasoning, cannot exist. In a power vacuum, in which there is no singular power of government always will produce a leader of some kind. Unfortunately, those leaders help form or reinforce the ethnic division by blaming others not having the same qualities that they prize.

Democracy, the existence in which the government would represent the people, cannot be relied on too readily. After all, some people make a stupid decision about who to vote based on the looks and the charm of the candidates than the pledges and the records that the candidates have. And what democracy has ever been able to stop slavery in America? Only the undemocratic crushing by the Northern Union of the Confederate States. It is true that democracy helped elected Abraham Lincoln to presidency, but the war itself started because of the abolitionistic belief of the president, without which the Civil War would never have started and the freedom of the slaves established. And even then, Jim Crow started. Democracy is an institution that can be easily influenced, which may or may not be good. People are metamorphosing creatures that change their minds every day.

We didn't celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Lord . . . Easter. I guess I am too old to paint eggs and do things typically associated with the white rabbit.

Is my mind too perverse. Sometimes I meet guys who seem genuinely more castrated than I am, who is more busy doing things than I am. I feel perverse, lazy, shameful that I am incapable of more strenuous activities.

Trabaca Chrisonomicon Overemphasized Posterboy Plastic Bag Vivid Blurry

Oh wait wait wait. So I know three signs for Mutual Oral Sex, a 69? Wow, many different variations describing the same action. Some very explicit and not nice, some more formal and appropriate in certain settings, like the courtroom.

And for drugs, I can say "stoned" in two ways.

I can't believe the library bought the book. I actually wrote down suggestions of the books for the library to purchase so that I could borrow them without having to pay. And they did it!

Borrowed two books from the library yesterday on ASL: Signs of Sexual Behaviors, and Signs of Drug Use.

Very interesting to know signs for mutual masturbation as well as smoking a weed. Tsk, tsk, tsk. :-)

Tired, feeling sick. This weather's been really strange. Last week it was windy, cloudy, and cold. Now is sunny and warm. My physical health definitely's not used to this. I'm getting headache, runny nose, and sore throat.

Chemistry Test, got an 85, which is good! I'm probably majoring in some kind of biochemistry field or environmental science. We'll see, we'll see. I actually don't like science now because it's so boring. I mean, I enjoy a good discussion or a good read about physics and about the theories that physicists are coming up with, but it's boring to learn about atoms and molecules, and how they react. I need to learn the difference between entropy and enthalpy. Kuh, if these keep going on, I'm probably out of the field by end of this year.

So freaking tired.

Rathskellar was fun last Friday.

I had my Chemistry Test today. I think I did extremely well. I am so tipful of confidence that now I am braggart to the work, whose errors remain unchecked, unknown to me.

A little dabbling in ASL grammar: i happy finish chemistry test. now night C-S-D-F i go-to why? rathskellar and also finish deaf event require. many friends, all-of-them students of other k-hit-on-head classes, go-to-csdf same-as-me. i meet-meet-meet-meet, "hi!" sit where? i don't know. i hope rathskellar it fun. 2 hours entertainment, yes, two hours. wow.

So now is my life--must I consented be?--to live and die in writhing consciousness. My life is more than a third spent in sleep, granted. Yes, I may.

Sorry for the lack of post, I just found myself busy. Even now. I have a "Problem Set Session" tomorrow, followed by an exam that I MUST study and get an "A" for on Friday. Getting a C last time is bad enough. Gosh. I MUST be smart and MUST get an A all the time. I MUST be an A-student.

*SIGH*

Yesterday . . . today's Monday! I actually managed to get myself to do my homework early. I didn't procrastinate . . . that much.

One fourth of my "college life" is gone. Three years left to go. I am so, so full of regrets. Oh, dear readers, where art thou? Wherefore art thou fickle? Why are your hearts so easily swayed? so easily forgetting? so lacking of constancy?

. . . I with all my strength did try
To turn my heart to stone, my eyes away
From beauty yours, though to myself I lie,
I knew I'd come again to you each day . . .
---Written by Yours Truly

Reading: The Future of Freedom: Illiberal Democracy at Home and Abroad
Paying close attention: Buffy (series finale) and Angel (season finale)

I have this inexplicable ability to make people not want to talk to me anymore. After a chat, we don't even say "hi." Or at least, other people don't. Other people with functioning XY chromosomes don't. Is it something I write? Is it the way my sentence and structure are together boring?

Why write I still all one, ever the same,
And keep invention on a noted weed,
That every word doth almost tell my name,
Showing their birth, and where they did proceed?